SCHMALFELDT’S SATYRICON: Mental Health Experts Say Conservatives Benefit From Trolling Liberal Websites
A study released by the National Institute of Mental Wellness Wednesday showed that right wing readers experience mental health benefits from trolling liberal websites.
“It would seem counterintuitive,” said Dr. Norman Volkoff, director of the institute, “but having something to get angry about actually seems to improve the mental well-being of far right wing readers.”
A brief glance of the Twitter feed Liberaland‘s Alan Colmes displays on this site shows a vast majority of people who send him “tweets” hate him, hate his radio show (“…although they listen daily,” Dr. Volkoff said), and hate every word he writes although each word is read repeatedly, printed out, stored in rickety cabinets to be pulled out and read later when the anger subsides, and shared with fellow conservatives who “tweet” back and forth about what an idiot Colmes is, how much they hate him and everything he stands for.
“These are lonely people who are reaching out for validation,” Dr. Volkoff said. “When they listen to Rush Limbaugh or read right wing blogs like Red State they are reading things they already agree with. They feel safe, but they feel invisible. That’s why they actively seek out websites like Liberaland and other liberal websites. By offering what often is nothing more than knee-jerk, automatic gainsay, they feel like they are sticking it to ‘the man’ and it makes them feel important, less impotent,” the director said.
The Satyricon reached out to two of Alan’s frequent critics on Twitter, two individuals who will remain nameless although they tweet their distaste for Colmes every day.
“You’re that satire guy,” one of the critics “tweeted” in return. “Why don’t you write something funny for once? Oppps! (sp) You cant, (sp) because your (sp) a dumass (sp).”
He copied his insult to five of his invisible Twitter “friends”.
The other was even less coherent in his response.
“LOLOLOLOLOL! Oooooh! Your (sp) so smart, why don’t you tell us why their (sp) are so many people who voted for Regan (sp). ROTFLMAO. ELEVENTY!!!!111!!!”
When the Satyiricon declined to respond, they each sent several additional “tweets” until their wives came home from work and they had to get off the computer.
Dr. Volkoff shook his head and removed his glasses. Cleaning the lenses with his lab coat he said, “It’s counterintuitive, like I said. Who knows why they do anything, really. The nincompoops.”
Copyright 2014 Liberaland
By: Bill Schmalfeldt
I no longer use Twitter or Facebook because they are evil. I do continue to blog at http://Schmalfeldt.org, where you can get information about other stuff I do, like comedy/parody CDs and MP3 downloads and audiobooks and such. Get yours now. When I'm dead, there will be a drastic price increase.
44 responses to SCHMALFELDT’S SATYRICON: Mental Health Experts Say Conservatives Benefit From Trolling Liberal Websites
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RK Johnston August 19th, 2014 at 22:32
It might satisfy their needs in the short run to target sites like this…but in the long run, that very anger ends up fatally poisoning them…body, heart, mind, AND soul.
–RKJ
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:31
A lot of times they actually make our points FOR us. Cracks me up.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:52
and sadly, as I read their stuff from far away, you are right – they are an infewcted group lacking most shreds of compassion and knowledge.
RK Johnston August 19th, 2014 at 22:32
It might satisfy their needs in the short run to target sites like this…but in the long run, that very anger ends up fatally poisoning them…body, heart, mind, AND soul.
–RKJ
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:31
A lot of times they actually make our points FOR us. Cracks me up.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:52
and sadly, as I read their stuff from far away, you are right – they are an infewcted group lacking most shreds of compassion and knowledge.
jdubhub68 August 19th, 2014 at 23:03
Maybe they would be better served to open a movie theater where they can showcase their projection skills. Given what theaters charge for soda, candy, and popcorn these days, it would give them an income that may help them move out of their parents’ basement before they turn 40.
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:30
I dunno–they haven’t figured out how mirrors work yet. A big screen might really throw them for a loop.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:51
now that’s good!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 16:57
They get “projection” and “reflection” all mixed up…
Progressive Republican August 21st, 2014 at 06:15
They keep piling fights with “that guy in the window”.
jdubhub68 August 19th, 2014 at 23:03
Maybe they would be better served to open a movie theater where they can showcase their projection skills. Given what theaters charge for soda, candy, and popcorn these days, it would give them an income that may help them move out of their parents’ basement before they turn 40.
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:30
I dunno–they haven’t figured out how mirrors work yet. A big screen might really throw them for a loop.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:51
now that’s good!!!!!!!!!!!!!
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 16:57
They get “projection” and “reflection” all mixed up…
Progressive Republican August 21st, 2014 at 06:15
They keep piling fights with “that guy in the window”.
Anomaly 100 August 19th, 2014 at 23:10
I’ve noticed Alan’s Twitter timeline and the responses from rwnjs. @ComgenKDT told me he reads the hate tweets directed to Alan because it makes him feel better about himself:-)
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:29
Aw geeze! I’m not sure just who to take pity on there…
Anomaly 100 August 20th, 2014 at 08:44
Go take a look sometime right after he has a segment on Fox. Whoa! You’ll feel awesome, too!
Anomaly 100 August 19th, 2014 at 23:10
I’ve noticed Alan’s Twitter timeline and the responses from rwnjs. @ComgenKDT told me he reads the hate tweets directed to Alan because it makes him feel better about himself:-)
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:29
Aw geeze! I’m not sure just who to take pity on there…
Anomaly 100 August 20th, 2014 at 08:44
Go take a look sometime right after he has a segment on Fox. Whoa! You’ll feel awesome, too!
tiredoftea August 19th, 2014 at 23:13
So, the this was the Onion’s new writers contest entry?
tiredoftea August 19th, 2014 at 23:13
So, the this was the Onion’s new writers contest entry?
Dwendt44 August 20th, 2014 at 00:28
Not sure conservatives really benefit from trolling progressive message boards and forums. They simply repeat the baseless claims they’ve heard on squawk radio and refuse to admit that they are ever wrong(which is most of the time). The tired old smears and phoney claims are shot down repeatedly only to have them return in a day or two. Short term memory loss maybe.
‘Conservative thinking is a mental condition that can be cured’.
tiredoftea August 20th, 2014 at 00:34
Kinda like religion.
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:27
Yup–train them at a young age to believe in the supernatural, and they’ll believe just about anything if it’s repeated loud enough and long enough.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:50
how can it be cured?
Dwendt44 August 20th, 2014 at 00:28
Not sure conservatives really benefit from trolling progressive message boards and forums. They simply repeat the baseless claims they’ve heard on squawk radio and refuse to admit that they are ever wrong(which is most of the time). The tired old smears and phoney claims are shot down repeatedly only to have them return in a day or two. Short term memory loss maybe.
‘Conservative thinking is a mental condition that can be cured’.
tiredoftea August 20th, 2014 at 00:34
Kinda like religion.
M D Reese August 20th, 2014 at 01:27
Yup–train them at a young age to believe in the supernatural, and they’ll believe just about anything if it’s repeated loud enough and long enough.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:50
how can it be cured?
Rusty Shackleford August 20th, 2014 at 00:46
You know, I tried trolling on conservative sites for a bit. Gave it the old college try, just to get into their mindset and see if I could understand what motivated them to do it. Went on DailyCaller and just acted as irreverently as possible. I didn’t get crude or personal, just flippant and snarky.
It was boring as hell, watching the locals grouping up in a self-congratulatory circle-jerk. I don’t get it. I watched my jokes die a painful death as they fell on deaf ears that didn’t care for any perspective that didn’t vindicate them.
So yeah, I’d rather spend my time with people I don’t find personally reprehensible. And if I should want debate, there’s never a shortage of problematic and ineffectual “feel-good” liberalism to address. Much more stimulating than bashing my head against a brick wall of bigotry.
William August 20th, 2014 at 09:02
“You know, I tried trolling on conservative sites for a bit” http://www.ehow.com/how_2108250_appear-dirty-jobs.html
Now that would be an episode more effective than epicack.
Rusty Shackleford August 20th, 2014 at 00:46
You know, I tried trolling on conservative sites for a bit. Gave it the old college try, just to get into their mindset and see if I could understand what motivated them to do it. Went on DailyCaller and just acted as irreverently as possible. I didn’t get crude or personal, just flippant and snarky.
It was boring as hell, watching the locals grouping up in a self-congratulatory circle-jerk. I don’t get it. I watched my jokes die a painful death as they fell on deaf ears that didn’t care for any perspective that didn’t vindicate them.
So yeah, I’d rather spend my time with people I don’t find personally reprehensible. And if I should want debate, there’s never a shortage of problematic and ineffectual “feel-good” liberalism to address. Much more stimulating than bashing my head against a brick wall of bigotry.
William August 20th, 2014 at 09:02
“You know, I tried trolling on conservative sites for a bit” http://www.ehow.com/how_2108250_appear-dirty-jobs.html
Now that would be an episode more effective than epicack.
William August 20th, 2014 at 01:07
Right wing trolls have their use. They will happily give you a readers digest version of whatever right wing wacko media dumped into their skulls that day. The recap is way easier and less painful than listening to the broadcast.
Arguing with them is however rather pointless.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:49
well well said W. Question is then, why do so many here on ll actually have an on going dialogue (what’s it called when done on a computer) with them? Several mods (not the cool kind back in the day) seem to be active in this realm too. Have the trolls actually compromised the mods and put them in a right wing cooperative mood? Whooooooo knowwwwwz?
William August 20th, 2014 at 08:45
I don’t know. “Back in the day”. You could write about anything as long as it wasn’t profane. Now it seems extreme right wingers get booted before the die hard liberals are finished ridiculing them. It’s sad in a way. A bit like having a ball game called because of rain just as your team has bases loaded.
William August 20th, 2014 at 01:07
Right wing trolls have their use. They will happily give you a readers digest version of whatever right wing wacko media dumped into their skulls that day. The recap is way easier and less painful than listening to the broadcast.
Arguing with them is however rather pointless.
fahvel August 20th, 2014 at 04:49
well well said W. Question is then, why do so many here on ll actually have an on going dialogue (what’s it called when done on a computer) with them? Several mods (not the cool kind back in the day) seem to be active in this realm too. Have the trolls actually compromised the mods and put them in a right wing cooperative mood? Whooooooo knowwwwwz?
William August 20th, 2014 at 08:45
I don’t know. “Back in the day”. You could write about anything as long as it wasn’t profane. Now it seems extreme right wingers get booted before the die hard liberals are finished ridiculing them. It’s sad in a way. A bit like having a ball game called because of rain just as your team has bases loaded.
RioBravoHombre August 20th, 2014 at 02:20
Stupid people FUCKING ROCK!!!!
RioBravoHombre August 20th, 2014 at 02:20
Stupid people FUCKING ROCK!!!!