Fear Not, White People: Top 5 Non-Racist Ice Cream Truck Songs

As if there’s not already enough wrong with the world, Americans were treated, this week, to the news that the Ice Cream Truck Song is racist, and not just a little, but like, 11 on the RAF™ Scale racist. Before aggrieved white people completely lose their shit over black people ruining yet another thing, though, there are other ice cream truck songs that aren’t racist, and which you can still enjoy while continuing not to think about racism. If you’re looking for a list of ice cream truck songs that won’t make you want to stick knives in your ears, I can’t help you.

I’ve got to thank Oliver Willis for bringing this to my attention by mocking NPR’s trigger warning, because for years, I’ve been wondering what the oddly-familiar yet unidentifiable tune is to that Murphy’s Oil Soap commercial. I never cared quite enough to Google it, but it was irritating. The tune, and it’s ice cream truck counterpart, vaguely evoked twangy banjo background music, but I could never quite place the origin. Theodore Johnson, III sort of confirmed my suspicion with his excellent article at NPR’s Code Switch blog:

“Nigger Love A Watermelon Ha! Ha! Ha!” merits the distinction of the most racist song title in America. Released in March 1916 by Columbia Records, it was written by actor Harry C. Browne and played on the familiar depiction of black people as mindless beasts of burden greedily devouring slices of watermelon.

I came across this gem while researching racial stereotypes. I was a bit conflicted on whether the song warranted a listen. Admittedly, though, beneath my righteous indignation, I was rather curious about how century-old, overt racism sounded and slightly amused by the farcical title. When I started the song, the music that tumbled from the speakers was that of the ever-recognizable jingle of the ice cream truck. (For the record, not all ice cream trucks play this same song, but a great many of them do.)

Also of great interest is the piece that Johnson wrote tracing the origins of the watermelon stereotype, in which he first discovered the origins of the Ice Cream Truck Song, and in which he also reveals the irony that. although he personally hates watermelon. “I’m a black man with a watermelon for a birthmark.”

I know how he feels. My birthmark is a silhouette of Kenny G.

What’s remarkable about Johnson’s article, though, is that I actually don’t know how he feels, and never will, because I don’t live in a culture whose every sedimentary layer is contaminated with hatred and contempt for my very being. As Ani DiFranco was accidentally right about when she freaked out on people who didn’t like her workshopping on a plantation, you can’t throw a rock in America without hitting something that was enabled by racism.

For some white people, though, the thought of racism can be very painful, even downright terrifying, so if you’ve read Mr. Johnson’s piece, and are afraid you can never eat ice cream again without being angry with him for ruining it for you, there’s good news: there are lots of other ice cream truck songs that aren’t racist…READ MORE

By: Tommy Christopher

Tommy Christopher is The Daily Banter's White House Correspondent and Political Analyst. He's been a political reporter and liberal commentator since 2007, and has covered the White House since the beginning of the Obama administration, first for PoliticsDaily, and then for Mediaite. Christopher is a frequent guest on a variety of television, radio, and online programs, and was the villain in the documentaries The Audacity of Democracy and Hating Breitbart. He's also That Guy Who Live-Tweeted His Own Heart Attack, and the only person to have ever received public apologies from both Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.