Dating Advice From The NRO

National Review Online has an intellectually dishonest post up that perpetuates the smear that gay men prey on youth, “Why Do Gays Get A Pass On May-December Creepiness”. And if that isn’t enough of a tell (as the poker players say), the subtitle beans you on the noggin with where this post is going: “In a culture where everybody’s outraged about everything, old gay cradle robbers are A-OK.”

The author of the post, Christine Sisto, begins by misinterpreting a photograph of 13-year-old Willow Smith and 20-year-old actor Moises Arias (which was part of a creative photography session), and so naturally she started thinking about old gay men, you know, trolling for boys:

However, reading about Willow and her eagerness to grow up, I cannot help but think, “Why are we surprised?” In a recent edition of “Civilities,” the Washington Post‘s advice  column “covering LGBT and straight etiquette,” a concerned mother asked for advice about her 19-year-old son, who just came out to her about his homosexuality and his boyfriend, a man 20 years his senior.

Now THAT is a transition for the record books! Do continue.

The desperate mother asks for advice, pointing out that this man began dating her son when he was still in high school. She explicitly says, “I think he’s a predator. . . . Please help!”

Let’s begin by reading the actual letter from the Post:

Dear Civilities: My 19-year-old son (I’ll call him “Tim”) just came out to me. I have no problem with that, but he also announced he’s seeing a man who’s 20 years his senior. They met last year when Tim was still in high school! My husband, Tim’s father, died three years ago, and I think Tim is looking for a father figure. The other man — “Justin” — worries me. What could a 40-year-old man have in common with a teenager? I think he’s a predator. Should I keep quiet and pray it ends soon or speak up? Tim starts college this fall, and I am hoping he’ll find a more appropriate boyfriend there. Please help! — Name withheld

So to not put too fine a spin on it, “Tim” reached the age of consent upon his 18th birthday and was an adult when he and “Justin” met. The son is 19-years old now, fully adult and can date whomever he wants. Now back to the NRO:

[The Post‘s advisor] basically advises the mother not to worry so much because these age gaps in homosexual relationships can be common. That may be true, but why is it okay? I’m sure if society didn’t frown upon it, straight relationships between fifty-year-old men and 15-year-old girls would be common as well.

But the case you raise is not between a 50-year old man and a 15-year old girl, Ms. Sisto. Let’s stick to the facts already in evidence. We are talking about two adults who entered a relationship as adults. This is not a story about a child molester as she so clumsily is implying. Also/Too: age gaps are common in relationships of all orientations. I seem to recall some wag somewhere saying something about love being blind.  So what else does Ms. Sisto have to offer us?

If you Google advice for young women who want to date older men (and by “young,” I mean my age, early twenties) the number of articles telling them “age is just a number” versus articles telling them to “be careful because the man probably just wants you for your age” are split just about down the middle.

What does that have to do with the 19-year old man that triggered this post? I’m so confused. However, I like that Sisto’s advisors essentially are flipping a coin.

However, if you search for advice for a younger man who wants to date an older man, the articles are overwhelmingly more positive. In fact, I struggled to find any blogs or articles where the young man is told to be cautious. Why is it more appropriate for a gay man to pursue a high-school boy than for a straight man to pursue a high-school girl?

Maybe you found none because adults who want to date each other are generally free to do so? But nice use of the word boy to continue the pederasty implication. And onto the exciting conclusion of this dog’s dinner of an essay (and apologies to dogs everywhere):

Same-sex marriage has ushered in a new phase of “not judging” anyone or anything. A mother concerned about a middle-aged man’s pursuit of her teenage son is called  “accusatory.” A lesbian “throuple” should be allowed to raise a child in a polygamous relationship because who are we to judge? The abundant acceptance of same-sex marriage is enabling those who want to push the limits of what we as a society accept. Who knows what will be acceptable in another ten years?

There we are: marriage equality will lead to polygamy and pederasty; Sisto left out beastiality so no Santorum trifecta points for her. But you know what might happen in 10 years: maybe equality for all adult couples (gay and straight). Oh, the horror!

By: Tengrain

Fully caffeinated with twice the sugar, unabashedly liberal. Award-winning Americans United blogger, blogs at Mock Paper Scissors, and sometimes at Crooks and Liars.

You can follow @Tengrain on Twitter, or you might see him enjoying coffee somewhere in Seattle at any given moment of the day.