Haters Rocket My New Book To #9 On Amazon!

My new book is #9 on the Amazon Best Sellers list!

Well..

OK, so it’s #9 on the best sellers list for books about disability law, but still…

I’M NUMBER NINE! I’M NUMBER NINE!

It’s hilarious, actually. Alan knows the feeling. Heck, read his Twitter feed. It’s clogged with haters who wouldn’t miss a moment of his coverage of the issues just so they can have something to be mad at.

They remind me of my mother’s father. He watched the Cubs every day they played. Every time WGN broadcast a game with the Chicago Cubs, my maternal grandfather was tuned in.

He hated the Cubs like the Klan hates non-whites (another trait of my grandfather’s that we need not go into here). But he watched them every day. Day in, day out, throughout the long baseball season. He didn’t miss a game until he died in 1995 at the angry old age of 94.

He watched them so he could see them lose. Watching the Cubs lose was his reason for waking up in the morning during baseball season. His favorite team? “Anyone who’s playing the Cubs,” he’d grump.

Alan has “followers” like that.

So do I, as evidenced by the early success of my new book, Intentional Infliction.

Released Thursday (April 25) it is already a BEST SELLER (on the Amazon list of books about disability law).

I thank my haters. The readers of the blog hosted by the man who brought nearly 400 unsuccessful criminal charges against me. The man who got a “peace order” forbidding me to contact him and then, less than a month later, tried to follow my Twitter account.

That guy.

Yupperdoodle! His followers are buying up my book like hotcakes.

…so they can get mad at me for something else!!!

The reviews can be seen on my home website. Oh, how they hate me. They hate everything about me. The way I look, my weight, the fact that I have Parkinson’s disease… every word I write, utter, carve into wood with a buck knife is subject to their hate and scorn.

But they read my website several times a day. And they are buying my two most recent books like they were the Holy Bible. (One of them, matter of fact, is called “Christ, the Wingnut” and it’s an e-book retelling of the Book of Matthew from a wingnut perspective. They are clearing the shelves on Amazon and cursing me with every breath, these wingnut followers of the Christ they would never recognize if he came to Earth today.)

I have always wondered about the mentality of people who go out of their way looking for things to be angry about.

For instance, my new book, Intentional Infliction, is a plea to lawmakers to toughen the cyber bullying laws to include indigent disabled people who don’t have the money to hire lawyers to sue libelous bloggers who hide behind Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of 1996. In this book, I use examples of what I’ve gone through since February 2013, how people who know I have Parkinson’s disease, who know full well that stress makes PD accelerate at a faster rate than it likely would on its own, have been piling on stress after stress in the hopes that I will drop off the edge of that cliff that nobody ever returns from.

This has made them madder than wet hens! And you know how mad a well-soaked female chicken gets.

In fact, the proprietor of the particular blog in question killed my previous attempt at writing this book. This person who has dozens of images of your humble correspondent on his thousands of blog posts filed a DMCA takedown with Amazon because I cut and pasted ONE SENTENCE from his blog. I also copied the 107 following comments to illustrate the hatred even the slightest mention of your cuddly commentator generates. They were not cut and pasted like the original post, however.

Since Amazon is not so much in the “art for art’s sake” business but the “selling books and stuff without getting sued” business, they didn’t demand any proof from the Right Wing Blogger that the offending clip was, in fact, his. They just killed the book, telling me that I could work out the details of republication by contacting the individual, which I am legally prohibited to do because the individual has a peace order forbidding me to contact him, which is one of the weapons he uses to harass me and goad me into contacting him (which I steadfastly refuse to do) so he can put me in jail where I belong.

Yes, gentle reader. That is the ultimate goal! To put my failing body behind bars where I can’t get Internet access and write stuff no more, no how, no way, until I die.

As long as I live, the image of the blogger’s lawyer — sister-in-law of the county State’s Attorney — standing, shaking a bony finger at me from the petitioner’s table, shrieking that the NEXT time I violate the peace order (which I haven’t, but who’s counting?) she will demand JAIL! JAIL, do you hear me! “And I don’t care about his MS, or PD, or whatever it is he says he has!!!”

Gracious.

Anyhoo…

I have either sent or asked to send PDF copies of my new book to my state legislators, my congressman and both U.S. Senators, as well as my state Attorney General (who is running for governor) and my Governor (who is thinking about running for President).

And the haters keep hating. They keep buying books so they can hate me even more. And the proceeds from each sale goes to benefit the National Parkinson Foundation.

So…

Ka-CHING?

By: Bill Schmalfeldt

I no longer use Twitter or Facebook because they are evil. I do continue to blog at http://Schmalfeldt.org, where you can get information about other stuff I do, like comedy/parody CDs and MP3 downloads and audiobooks and such. Get yours now. When I'm dead, there will be a drastic price increase.