SATIRE: Stop Oppressing The White Folks!

The American Thinker was outraged. Outraged, I tell you, over a brutal beating a poor, innocent girl received on a school bus. They demand to know why Attorney General Eric Holder didn’t getting involved.

Here are the facts as presented by that shining bright beacon of justice and truth, the American Thinker.

Girl gets on bus. Shoe is thrown. Hits girl. She throws shoe back, hitting student. Fight ensues. Girl is injured by a gang of students. Hospitalized.

Now, this is old news. But did you ever hear anything about it? Of course not. The “mainstream liberal media” doesn’t tell you stories about white people being attacked by people of color because such stories are, as they say, “impolitic.”

It was a horrible thing, of course. But not horrible enough for the American media to care about, according to the American Thinker, a conservative rag that wants you to know just how bad it really was.

Oh, sure! We were all outraged later when a young black kid, walking through a neighborhood heavily armed with a can of ice tea and Skittles, was shot and killed by a self-appointed neighborhood watchman.

Our outrage, to hear conservatives say it, was fueled by the blackness of the victim and the non-blackness of his killer.

That’s how it works. And aside from the brutality, there was another troubling fact about this crime reported by The American Thinker — a fact that predictably did not make it into the news: the attackers were black, and the victim was white.

Aha! The liberal media is hiding the fact that this poor, innocent white girl was beaten into unconsciousness by a pack of angry, savage Black kids. It was more than “two against one” and you know what kind of “fun” that is if you hung around the same playgrounds we did when we were children.

The writer for American Thinker, John T. Bennett, apparently has the “Oppression of White People” beat for the ironically and in-aptly named “American Thinker.” Here’s a list of some of his past offerings for the publication.

A Violent Racist Game Claims More Victims
The Racial Violence that Dare Not Speak Its Name
Obama Baits the Dependency Trap
Media Stifling Racial Violence Coverage
Racial Sensitivity Through the Looking Glass
The Taboo on Mentioning Black Mob Violence
Guns Are Racist: Chicago Politics and Blame-Shifting for Urban Violence
The Knockout Game: Racial Violence and the Conspicuous Silence of the Media
Minority Feelings and Violent Facts
How Race Gets Rubbed Out of the Story
The ‘Achievement Gap’ Fraud
Racial Violence Has Not Made It Into the Conversation about Race
Open Mind or Empty Head?
Sharia Law Is Already Here
Who’s Afraid of Muslims?
Join the National Conversation on Race and Get Fired

It’s his job to make the poor, oppressed white people who read American Thinker righteously afraid of the hateful, brutal violence of which these “people” (if you know what I mean) are capable.

Bennett goes on in his story to excoriate the media for neglecting to stoke the racial fears of the oppressed white masses. It is not just a story about kids ganging up on and beating another kid, something that happens every day in middle schools around the country. As every parent knows, when a kid enters the middle school years and the puberty monster rears its ugly head, bad things tend to happen and our sweet little angels — who just six months ago were sitting on our laps giggling at cartoons — are now surly, uncommunicative strangers who lock their bedroom doors and hate the world and everything in it.

And to Bennett’s credit, he does quote a reason the students gave for attacking the girl. He just chooses to bury it in his story:

When the girl got hit by the shoe…she threw it back at the kids she thought threw it at her.

Williams (one of the 14 year-olds charged in this fight) said that’s when the victim uttered a racial slur, and several black students began beating her.

Well, obviously she was lying, right? Isn’t that what “these people” do? Lie?

Williams has every reason to say that the victim uttered a racial slur, which is probably a “post hoc” rationalization and is certainly meant to minimize the moral blame we attach to the attackers. A “racial slur” is the best explanation to give, considering the fact that there is no possible way Williams and the other six attackers could claim self defense.

Now kids, this does not justify a fight in which a girl was beaten so badly she was hospitalized. But I’m guessing the next time this girl finds herself standing amongst a group of minorities whose ancestors have suffered at the hands of her ancestors, in a southern state, yet? She might refrain from hurling the “N-word” in anger at them.

Where I come from, and that’s “Common Sense Land,” one is ill-advised to stand in front of a group of any group of any ethnicity, of any sexual orientation, of any skin color, of any hair color (you stupid redheads!) and shout a word that the group deems as hateful to their specific group.

Daddy always said, if you shout the N-word in front of an African Americans, the K-word in front of a group of Jews, the S-word in front of a bunch of Latinos, etc., etc. and etc., you are likely to get a mud puddle stomped into you.

But not to worry. Two years have gone by. And the media did pick up the story after all. Well, part of the media. A “sub-specialty,” shall we say?

Here’s a sampling of websites that have picked up the Thinker’s story and are running with it to prove white superiority:

NATION OF COWARDS — standing against white genocide

WHITE NEWS NOW

NEWS SAXON — (Some nice SS “death head” imagery on this site!)

Wouldn’t it be nice if, someday, white conservative Christians caught a break  in America? I have a dream…

By: Bill Schmalfeldt

I no longer use Twitter or Facebook because they are evil. I do continue to blog at http://Schmalfeldt.org, where you can get information about other stuff I do, like comedy/parody CDs and MP3 downloads and audiobooks and such. Get yours now. When I'm dead, there will be a drastic price increase.