Michele Bachmann: The End Is Near! Oh, Joy!

Posted by | August 10, 2015 16:30 | Filed under: News Behaving Badly Religion

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Former congresscritter Michele Bachmann, fresh off her acclaimed acting debut in the film masterpiece Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, is relying on ancient texts to back her assertion that it’s the end of the world as we know it, and she feels fine, as our friends over at Salon report:

In an interview on the evangelical radio program “Understanding the Times” this weekend, former Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann opined that we should all feel very “privileged to live in” the End Times, which are currently upon us now that Obama’s negotiating a nuclear deal with Iran.

Bachmann claimed that the Obama administration’s historic accord is evidence of the fulfillment of the prophecy from Zechariah 12:3 — “On that day, when all the nations of the earth are gathered against her, I will make Jerusalem an immovable rock for all the nations. All who try to move it will injure themselves” — and that only through the heroic efforts of Congressional Republicans and their lone Democratic ally, New York Senator Chuck Schumer, to undermine the deal will America be spared God’s wrath.

At least for the time being, of course, as the End Times are upon us, and God and “heaven’s armies” will be bringing this existence to a wrap sooner rather than later. “The prophets longed to live in this day,” Bachmann said, referring to the End of Days, “you and I are privileged to live in it.”

Well, I guess someone has to fill Harold Camping‘s shoes. ‘Nuff said!

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Copyright 2015 Liberaland
By: dave-dr-gonzo

David Hirsch, a.k.a. Dave "Doctor" Gonzo*, is a renegade record producer, video producer, writer, reformed corporate shill, and still-registered lobbyist for non-one-percenter performing artists and musicians. He lives in a heavily fortified compound in one of Manhattan's less trendy neighborhoods.

* Hirsch is the third person to use the pseudonym, a not-so-veiled tribute to journalist and author Hunter S. Thompson, with the permission of his predecessors Gene Gaudette of American Politics Journal (currently webmaster and chief bottlewasher at Liberaland) and Stephen Meese at Smashmouth Politics.

26 responses to Michele Bachmann: The End Is Near! Oh, Joy!

  1. Larry Schmitt August 10th, 2015 at 16:39

    The fact that charlatans like this loon and Huckleberry and Robertson and other self-professed “Christians” make these pronouncements and have not been struck by lightning proves either that there is no god, that he/she is not as powerful as they claim, or that he doesn’t really care.

    • tracey marie August 10th, 2015 at 16:59

      all charlatans and bat shit crazy

  2. Mann T. August 10th, 2015 at 16:59

    My ‘losing my looks and youth’ mid-life crisis also had me wanting to kick the cosmos in the teeth but I got over it. The Fundies let it become them. They hate reality and so deny it. That, I suspect, is where their end-times garbage comes from.

    I am also convinced that the great ignored cause of fundie Islam is the belief in magic. Great damage was done to secular thought when some loonie tune scholars decided that magic and religion were different categories. They are not. For example believing in the power of prayer is a belief in magical process. Miracles are magic events. Differentiating between the supernatural and the magical was a really stupid thing that Western scholars did.

    All religion is magical. Practitioners carry out magical acts. I have attended secret magical healing ceremonies in the Sahara with Islamic cultures and visited a witch in Jeddah. Bachman and her nutty cohorts have the same mentality as fundie suicide bombers.

  3. KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker August 10th, 2015 at 17:33

    More mindless pap from a rightwing twit.

  4. rg9rts August 10th, 2015 at 17:41

    They’re coming to take her away…oh my

  5. labman57 August 10th, 2015 at 18:06

    Hey Michele,
    Since the “end of times” is just around the corner, you won’t be needing your real estate holdings, retirement savings, stocks and bonds, etc. So I will gladly take them off your hands.
    Drop me an email and we can work out the details.

  6. Mike August 10th, 2015 at 18:28

    In the past, “End Times” proselytizers were shunned and thought to be mentally unbalanced…today they’re Congressmen and Senators…..

    • Larry Schmitt August 10th, 2015 at 18:33

      That says a lot about congress and those who vote for them.

    • KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker August 10th, 2015 at 19:21

      Err …today they’re “Republican” Congressmen and Senators…..
      Just an observation…;-)

      • Mike August 11th, 2015 at 10:58

        Correction noted and accepted.

    • robert August 10th, 2015 at 20:59

      no doubt a big L ron hubbard fan

    • Foundryman August 10th, 2015 at 23:54

      And some even want to be President.

  7. Snick1946 August 10th, 2015 at 19:12

    If one of these evangelical nut jobs ever gets his/her finger on the button, kiss your ass goodbye. I really suspect that’s all they want to do, all the talk about abortion, etc is to fire up the base and maybe – they think- get them elected. Then they can launch the missiles and force the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. People need to be very, very afraid of Bachmann and her ilk. They really believe this crap.

  8. Obewon August 10th, 2015 at 20:54

    ‘We live in the the End Times’-Tea Party Caucus Chair Bachmann until 2012~ on why she’s not running? God told me not to run for President this End Time…

  9. Hard2find August 10th, 2015 at 23:26

    Well I guess it getting close to the killing of Christins by god, AGAIN

  10. Warman1138 August 10th, 2015 at 23:33

    Where’s a real Sharknado when we need one to toss Bachmann to?

  11. Dwendt44 August 11th, 2015 at 00:16

    One little flaw in the ‘end times’ nonsense. The bible says that the temple in Jerusalem will be rebuilt before the ‘end times’ start.
    ‘Course jesus came to save the Jews. Not the Romans, not the gentiles, not the Pagans, not the heathens, and not the christians.

    • Hirightnow August 11th, 2015 at 07:50

      Those pesky details…

    • Bunya August 11th, 2015 at 14:06

      Unfortunately for the Christians, the temple is to be built where the Dome of the Rock (a mosque) now stands. I say good luck to the Jews & Christians who want to knock it down. They’ll need it.

  12. jybarz August 11th, 2015 at 00:19

    Crazy dumb-ass!

  13. bpollen August 11th, 2015 at 05:13

    If the rapture ever comes, Michelle is going to be real disappointed to be “Left Behind.”

  14. Elliot J. Stamler August 11th, 2015 at 14:07

    If only it would be her end.

  15. atunionbob August 11th, 2015 at 14:28

    She is right…the end times are here….FOR HER.

  16. Ormond Otvos August 11th, 2015 at 16:21

    Religion is just terror management. She’s frightened because she’s gonna die. We all are, and few can handle it without a little brain failure.

  17. GrannyPollytiques August 11th, 2015 at 18:11

    When is that lying crook going to jail anyway? It certainly is past time.

  18. amersham46 August 11th, 2015 at 22:33

    End of time ??? well if she put a new battery in her clock all will be okay

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