The Weak In Review October 25

With only a week and some change until The Most Important Election In The History Of The United States (Until The Next One), we once again turn to the media to see how it is framing the narrative. And once again, we learn that the GOP’s crisis management skills and governing philosophy consists of screaming “You Suck!” to the Kenyan Usurper, Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

It’s a close shave with The Weak in Review!

Let’s begin with Ebola, where all the talking heads programs have found more Ebola experts in the US than they have found victims suffering from the disease.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) used geometric logic and phases of the moon to study the issue and concluded that the Surgeon General should be heading up the Ebola response and not some Ebola Czar! Chaffetz is unaware that his fellow Republican Sen. Rand Paul has blocked the nominee for more than a year. It’s that kind of attention to detail that keeps Chaffetz elected, I guess.

Of course, It’s Obama’s fault that there is no approved Surgeon General, according to Ted Cruz.

Instead of getting into fits over the Schroedinger’s Cat-like existence/non-existence of a Surgeon General, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) is taking the bull by the tail and facing the situation! Not one to sit around and make meaningless small talk, Rubio is taking action… in a few weeks, you know, after the election, when the Senate returns from recess to a lame duck session, when he will introduce legislation to ban travel into the US from the countries in west Africa with the outbreaks. Yes, the same countries that currently don’t have any direct flights into the US. Maybe he can get Chaffetz to co-sponsore the legislation in the House?

Thankfully, there are no direct flights into the proposed theocratic-secessionist country of Reagan, (to consist of most of the old Confederacy) either:

While speaking yesterday with Janet Mefferd about his book, “The Secessionist States of America: The Blueprint for Creating a Tradition Values Country… Now,” [Conservative columnist and former Reagan administration aide Douglas] MacKinnon called for a movement of states, starting with South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, to establish a new country that will adhere to the Religious Right’s political agenda.

Texas, MacKinnon explained, was not included in his secessionist blueprint because “there have been a number of incursions into Texas and other places from some of the folks in Mexico.”

He seems nice.

Let’s leave Ebola and Reagan behind us, and look ahead. Potential 2016 Candidate and NJ Governor Chris Christie. He says that it is time to start offending people, and well, then he offends us:

“I am tired of hearing about the minimum wage. I don’t think there is a mother or father sitting around a kitchen table tonight in America saying ‘If our son or daughter could just make a higher minimum wage, all our dreams could be realized.’”

…perhaps that’s because Mom and Pop are working 3 minimum wage jobs to make ends meet and don’t have time to sit around a kitchen table, or at least not their own kitchen table? I’m offended, so job well done, Governor! Campaign pledge kept!

So while Christi is keeping us offended, Mitch McConnell is keeping us enthused?

“Senator McConnell is seeking volunteers to join him on a 3-day campaign bus tour around the state on October 20-22 to show our support for Kentucky coal. You would join local supporters in contributing to an enthusiastic atmosphere at each of his events,” she wrote.”

We note, enthusiastically,  that transportation, meals, lodging is offered. Sounds better than Christi’s minimum wage, I suppose.

So what do we conclude about the state of the Party of Lincoln as we charge ahead into the waning days of the 2014 mid-term elections?

That it is Obama’s fault that Jason Chaffetz doesn’t know that Rand Paul blocked the Surgeon General, but that’s OK because in a few short weeks Marco Rubio will spring into action on a meaningless gesture about Ebola; that the theocratic secessionist Republic of Reagan doesn’t want the entire Confederacy (sorry Texas), and Chris Christie is tired of offending minimum wage earners like Mitch McConnell’s hired enthusiastic supporters.  Oh, and it’s all Obama’s fault, of course.

The remaining days until the election should be even more fun, so stay tuned.

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