Ocean Sex Leads To Man’s Penis Getting Stuck
It sounds like a spell you’d learn in sex-ed at Hogwarts, but “penis captivus” is a real – if rare – medical condition, as one hapless Italian couple learned this week.
Via The Local:
…the amorous couple were making the most of a warm day, and a practically deserted beach, when they decided to take a dip in the ocean at Porto San Giorgio to express their love.
But their lovemaking came to an embarrassing end when the man was unable to extricate himself from the woman due to suction… They remained in the water until they caught the attention of a woman walking along the beach, who gave them a towel after they struggled back to the shore.
A doctor was called and they were taken to a hospital emergency room. There the woman was given an injection usually used to dilate the uterus of pregnant women, in order to untangle the couple.
It bears mentioning that inextricability “due to suction” is an altogether different mechanism for penis captivus than that proposed by Dr. John Dean, Clinical Director of Gender and Sexual Medicine for Devon Partnership NHS Trust in southwest England:
What… is likely to happen is that when the penis is within the vagina it becomes increasingly engorged. The muscles of the woman’s pelvic floor contract rhythmically at orgasm… While those muscles contract, the penis becomes stuck and further engorged within [the vagina] until the muscles relax, blood can flow out… the penis… the penis starts to go down after orgasm and the man can withdraw.
In other words, they should have stuck to sex on the beach. The drink, not the act.
Copyright 2014 Liberaland
By: dave-dr-gonzo
David Hirsch, a.k.a. Dave "Doctor" Gonzo*, is a renegade record producer, video producer, writer, reformed corporate shill, and still-registered lobbyist for non-one-percenter performing artists and musicians. He lives in a heavily fortified compound in one of Manhattan's less trendy neighborhoods.
* Hirsch is the third person to use the pseudonym, a not-so-veiled tribute to journalist and author Hunter S. Thompson, with the permission of his predecessors Gene Gaudette of American Politics Journal (currently webmaster and chief bottlewasher at Liberaland) and Stephen Meese at Smashmouth Politics.
R.J. Carter October 18th, 2014 at 16:08
If “due to suction” lasts longer than four hours, consult a physician.
R.J. Carter October 18th, 2014 at 16:08
If “due to suction” lasts longer than four hours, consult a physician.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:12
Yay for penis stories!
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:22
question should be, will it happen again.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:29
Another penis story here? Sure, we did tons of them on FON. We might as well corrupt LL, too:-)
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:39
question: nothing to do with any of the articles so pardon me. but, do you know how i go about developing an app?
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:45
I’m a tech-dummy. I can ask around though.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:51
please do, i would so appreciate it. thanks a million.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:57
Sure, no problem.
mea_mark October 18th, 2014 at 17:13
You can start here and decide if it is something you really want to do. http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/228328
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:14
i’ll give it a go. thanks.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:27
checked it out. it gives insightful advice except the one thing that concerns me. outsourcing. it is fine, but how do you protect your idea? that’s the frightening part, especially if you believe in your product. as i do.
mea_mark October 18th, 2014 at 17:43
Secrecy is best. Other than that legal issues can be complicated. My brother made some apps by himself so secrecy worked with a simple copyright. If you are looking for outside help, be careful. This might help … http://www.appempire.com/top-5-legal-issues-facing-app-developers/ I am no expert, far from it, just some talk with my bro here and there.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:55
checking it out now. you guy are great to help.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 18:13
that’s a good one for the legal aspect. i’ve already downloaded the NDA and it talks about copyrights and LLC’s. something to help protect your idea. its a start.
Spirit of America October 19th, 2014 at 07:14
Completely describe your product/idea/mechanics on what it’ll do and how it will do it. Type it out, sign it w/one witness. Mail it to yourself and never open it unless needed(you can do it twice, one to your lawyer if you have one, or to another family member telling them to never open it either). It is valid as ‘who had the idea first’ in a court(USPS cancellation date on stamp).
Then, still being careful, seek out independent programmers, keeping log/records of all calls/emails, etc.
I would help more, but know of no way to exchange email/phone numbers via here.
Good luck and pursue it, if you think it’s a good idea, chances are many others would too!!
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 17:44
I just asked three different bloggers I know and they all came up empty. I’ll keep asking around though:-)
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:54
such a sweetheart. much appreciated.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 19:40
I just asked John Prager with AATTP and he has no idea either. Still working on it!
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:12
Yay for penis stories!
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:22
question should be, will it happen again.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:29
Another penis story here? Sure, we did tons of them on FON. We might as well corrupt LL, too:-)
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:39
question: nothing to do with any of the articles so pardon me. but, do you know how i go about developing an app?
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:45
I’m a tech-dummy. I can ask around though.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:51
please do, i would so appreciate it. thanks a million.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 16:57
Sure, no problem.
mea_mark October 18th, 2014 at 17:13
You can start here and decide if it is something you really want to do. http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/228328
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:14
i’ll give it a go. thanks.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:27
checked it out. it gives insightful advice except the one thing that concerns me. outsourcing. it is fine, but how do you protect your idea? that’s the frightening part, especially if you believe in your product. as i do.
mea_mark October 18th, 2014 at 17:43
Secrecy is best. Other than that legal issues can be complicated. My brother made some apps by himself so secrecy worked with a simple copyright. If you are looking for outside help, be careful. This might help … http://www.appempire.com/top-5-legal-issues-facing-app-developers/ I am no expert, far from it, just some talk with my bro here and there.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:55
checking it out now. you guy are great to help.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 18:13
that’s a good one for the legal aspect. i’ve already downloaded the NDA and it talks about copyrights and LLC’s. something to help protect your idea. its a start.
Spirit of America October 19th, 2014 at 07:14
Completely describe your product/idea/mechanics on what it’ll do and how it will do it. Type it out, sign it w/one witness. Mail it to yourself and never open it unless needed(you can do it twice, one to your lawyer if you have one, or to another family member telling them to never open it either). It is valid as ‘who had the idea first’ in a court(USPS cancellation date on stamp).
Then, still being careful, seek out independent programmers, keeping log/records of all calls/emails, etc.
I would help more, but know of no way to exchange email/phone numbers via here.
Good luck and pursue it, if you think it’s a good idea, chances are many others would too!!
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 17:44
I just asked three different bloggers I know and they all came up empty. I’ll keep asking around though:-)
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 17:54
such a sweetheart. much appreciated.
Anomaly 100 October 18th, 2014 at 19:40
I just asked John Prager with AATTP and he has no idea either. Still working on it!
Denise October 18th, 2014 at 16:15
hahahahaha! i’m stuck for words
Denise October 18th, 2014 at 16:15
hahahahaha! i’m stuck for words
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:20
that sucked!
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:20
that sucked!
Obewon October 18th, 2014 at 16:22
If your ocean sex lasts longer than 4 hours call in a stimulating expert to immediately relieve tension.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:27
say Obewon, how long do you think she walked funny after this?
Obewon October 18th, 2014 at 16:22
If your ocean sex lasts longer than 4 hours call in a stimulating expert to immediately relieve tension.
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:27
say Obewon, how long do you think she walked funny after this?
veggiedude October 18th, 2014 at 16:32
where’s the shark when you need ’em?
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:36
laughing his fin off?
veggiedude October 18th, 2014 at 16:32
where’s the shark when you need ’em?
whatthe46 October 18th, 2014 at 16:36
laughing his fin off?
rg9rts October 18th, 2014 at 17:00
Vaginismus is very painful but not as common as you are made to believe
rg9rts October 18th, 2014 at 17:00
Vaginismus is very painful but not as common as you are made to believe
Linda1961 October 18th, 2014 at 18:07
Yay! A penis story!
Linda1961 October 18th, 2014 at 18:07
Yay! A penis story!
Budda October 18th, 2014 at 18:45
This never happened to me. I mean sex in the ocean…or on the beach or, well you know
Budda October 18th, 2014 at 18:45
This never happened to me. I mean sex in the ocean…or on the beach or, well you know
tracey marie October 18th, 2014 at 21:08
She just does her kagel exercises daily
tracey marie October 18th, 2014 at 21:08
She just does her kagel exercises daily