Hilarious: Police Report On Drunken Palin Family Brawl
After the drunken brawl involving the entire Palin clan in Alaska last month, prosecutors will not be filing charges. Anchorage Police Department officials released details of the snowbilly event on September 6th after the Palins arrived in a white limousine, just before Bristol, Sarah Palin’s daughter, coldcocked the host of the party several times in the face with freedom punches.
Police say that Bristol, 23, appeared “heavily intoxicated” during questioning, and claimed that she had confronted a woman who had pushed her sister, The Smoking Gun reports.
According to Bristol’s version of events, the party’s host was “calling her a cunt and slut” and she was pushed to the ground and pulled “around on the grass by her feet.”
Witnesses described Bristol as “out of control” and accused her of repeatedly punching the host of the party, Korey Klingenmeyer, 39, in the face while yelling, “Who the fuck are you!”
Klingenmeyer told police that he was “angry the Palins had showed up and were causing the problems.” He added that, “A fight broke out and the Palins ended up losing.”
Police arrived on the scene at midnight only to find an inebriated and shirtless Track Palin being led to the family’s white limousine.
Police said that Track’s friends appeared “intent on keeping him away from me.”
An officer described Track as heavily intoxicated” with blood around his mouth and on his hands. The cop said he ‘had a hard time getting him to calm down.”
According to that officer, he appeared to have an injury under his left eye.
The officer said Track was “belligerent,” but eventually agreed to get out of the limo as per his mother’s instructions.
While “angry and intoxicated,” Track told the police that “some guys were talking rudely to his sisters, making them cry” and the Palins decided to leave the party, until he said, a friend was sucker punched. (Not by Bristol)
“Track said he then confronted one of the guys and said he would fight him, so Track took off his shirt to fight,” an officer reported.
Track claimed he was also attacked from behind by a quartet of “skinny white males.” Seriously.
Todd Palin weighed in saying that when the family friend was attacked from behind, “everything escalated and it was a situation they couldn’t walk away from.”
According to The Smoking Gun in a detailed report, One of the witnesses, Brian Horschel, 38, said that during the party, Track Palin tried to “start a fight with his dad, Todd.” Horschel went on to say that he was “about to step in” until he “found out that it was Todd’s son that was trying to fight him.”
While police were interviewing attendees of the party, Todd Palin confronted Klingenmeyer and askedif “he called his daughter a ‘bitch.’
At that point, Willow Palin approached them and “also got involved flipping [Klingenmeyer] off and getting loud.”
Officer Ruth Adolf stated that, “We eventually separated everyone and the Palin family ended up leaving.”
Matthew McKenna, another witness, told police that “about four unknown guys then jumped on Todd,” and that Track “jumped in and was fighting with the people that jumped his dad.”
McKenna said he “told Todd to get his ‘crew,’ get into the limo and leave and added, “Nobody listened and yet another fight started.”
McKenna stated that “the problem was that Bristol and Willow were drunk as were their boyfriends.” McKenna said that Bristol punched the party’s host “in the face six times,” a “bunch of wives tackled her ass.”
Willow Palin was described as “extremely agitated” while telling a police officer that the party host had assaulted her sister and that “several guys were on top of her sister when she was on the ground.”
According to Willow, an older lady” pushed her, and that “people were saying things like ‘Fuck the Palins.’” (Disclaimer: it wasn’t me. I swear it)
Most of the report seems to fall in line with previous versions of events, told by witnesses who observed Bristol clocking the host of the party in the face multiple times.
Even though none of the parties opted to press charges at the time of the incident, police confirmed that the case is still an active investigation and is being reviewed by APD and the Municipal Prosecutors Office.
A screen grab of the police report:
Political Gates has more screen shots of the police report here.
Copyright 2014 Liberaland
By: Anomaly100
forpeace October 9th, 2014 at 20:24
R.J. Carter Mod • 4 hours ago
Deliterize the police. They’re murdering unarmed grammar in these reports!
——————-
Dear R.J. Carter,
They wrote the report in “gibberish” to make it easier for Half Governor to read it.
forpeace October 9th, 2014 at 20:24
R.J. Carter Mod • 4 hours ago
Deliterize the police. They’re murdering unarmed grammar in these reports!
——————-
Dear R.J. Carter,
They wrote the report in “gibberish” to make it easier for Half Governor to read it.
LiPao October 9th, 2014 at 20:25
The Alaskan police interrogation was thorough with Track.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_v3MJbdHmQ
LiPao October 9th, 2014 at 20:25
The Alaskan police interrogation was thorough with Todd.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_v3MJbdHmQ
arc99 October 9th, 2014 at 21:03
I wrote this several years ago and posted it my neighborhood newspaper forum when Palin was teasing about a 2012 run.
This story looks to be an appropriate occasion to repeat my post. To the best of my knowledge, for better or worse, this material is 100% original.
So with apologies to David Letterman, here is my list of the top 10 reasons Sarah Palin will never be the GOP nominee for President.
10. She would have to take a pay cut.
9. Not enough room on her tiny hands to write entire State of the Union Speech
8. White House kitchen has no recipes for cooking moose.
7. Will have no foreign policy strategy since you can’t see Russia from the White House
6. It may be unconstitutional to sign legislation with “you betcha”.
5. She is more qualified for the House of Represenatatives. Much easier to quit afer two years
4. The folks who don’t know if Hawaii is a state aren’t entirely sold on Alaska either.
3. Five words that strike fear in the hearts of Congress on both sides of the aisle; Ted Nugent Secretary of Defense
2. Would lose to Tina Fey in New York primary
1. Anything that we liberals want this badly, never happens
Hirightnow October 9th, 2014 at 21:44
{Best Paul Schaffer voice}:
“Fabulous! I couldn’t agree more!”
{Leads the band in a rendition of “Hit the road, Jack!”}
Jack E Raynbeau October 22nd, 2014 at 19:35
Ten out of ten right out of the park. Great job.
arc99 October 9th, 2014 at 21:03
I wrote this several years ago and posted it my neighborhood newspaper forum when Palin was teasing about a 2012 run.
This story looks to be an appropriate occasion to repeat my post. To the best of my knowledge, for better or worse, this material is 100% original.
So with apologies to David Letterman, here is my list of the top 10 reasons Sarah Palin will never be the GOP nominee for President.
10. She would have to take a pay cut.
9. Not enough room on her tiny hands to write entire State of the Union Speech
8. White House kitchen has no recipes for cooking moose.
7. Will have no foreign policy strategy since you can’t see Russia from the White House
6. It may be unconstitutional to sign legislation with “you betcha”.
5. She is more qualified for the House of Represenatatives. Much easier to quit afer two years
4. The folks who don’t know if Hawaii is a state aren’t entirely sold on Alaska either.
3. Five words that strike fear in the hearts of Congress on both sides of the aisle; Ted Nugent Secretary of Defense
2. Would lose to Tina Fey in New York primary
1. Anything that we liberals want this badly, never happens
Hirightnow October 9th, 2014 at 21:44
{Best Paul Schaffer voice}:
“Fabulous! I couldn’t agree more!”
{Leads the band in a rendition of “Hit the road, Jack!”}
Jack E Raynbeau October 22nd, 2014 at 19:35
Ten out of ten right out of the park. Great job.
Denise October 9th, 2014 at 21:25
“the host called her a cunt and a slut.” you mean she spoke the truth?
Denise October 9th, 2014 at 21:25
“the host called her a cunt and a slut.” you mean she spoke the truth?
Hirightnow October 9th, 2014 at 21:42
Hmmm….
Bunch of folk at a party decide that they’re tired of the sh!t that the Palin clan puts out?
Sounds like Democracy to me.
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!
Hirightnow October 9th, 2014 at 21:42
Hmmm….
Bunch of folk at a party decide that they’re tired of the sh!t that the Palin clan puts out?
Sounds like Democracy to me.
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!
mcalleyboy October 9th, 2014 at 21:50
Palin clan are not taken seriously by Conservatives, they are there for your entertainment and don’t represent serious conservatives, they fill the gap for those conservatives that don’t bother to educate themselves or keep up with current events.
tiredoftea October 9th, 2014 at 22:31
That’s a big tent.
LightningJoe October 10th, 2014 at 18:46
“[The Palins] are there for your entertainment”
Well yes, they are; but “entertainment” seems to include running for public office, to the Wing Nut crowd…
mcalleyboy October 11th, 2014 at 02:11
Conservatives lost interest in Palin when running for Vice President, she couldn’t answer questions about foreign policy and was clueless on world events, her office is speech’s at fairs and commenting on Fox news along with Ted Nugent, Ted has a clue about gun related issue’s but fails to supply intelligent conversation.
M.C.A. October 9th, 2014 at 21:50
Palin clan are not taken seriously by Conservatives, they are there for your entertainment and don’t represent serious conservatives, they fill the gap for those conservatives that don’t bother to educate themselves or keep up with current events.
tiredoftea October 9th, 2014 at 22:31
That’s a big tent.
LightningJoe October 10th, 2014 at 18:46
“[The Palins] are there for your entertainment”
Well yes, they are; but “entertainment” seems to include running for public office, to the Wing Nut crowd…
mcalleyboy October 11th, 2014 at 02:11
Conservatives lost interest in Palin when running for Vice President, she couldn’t answer questions about foreign policy and was clueless on world events, her office is speech’s at fairs and commenting on Fox news along with Ted Nugent, Ted has a clue about gun related issue’s but fails to supply intelligent conversation.
searambler October 9th, 2014 at 21:58
“A fight broke out and the Palins ended up losing.”
Well, it’s not like this is the first time……
searambler October 9th, 2014 at 21:58
“A fight broke out and the Palins ended up losing.”
Well, it’s not like this is the first time……
Shades October 9th, 2014 at 22:01
Just imagine. If McCain had won, we’d have seen this on the White House lawn during the Easter Egg roll.
tiredoftea October 9th, 2014 at 22:34
Except that it would be the Sarah, Willow and Bristol roll!
William October 10th, 2014 at 01:26
Sarah, Willow and Bristol roll!…
Or?..Or?..
Wait for it.
http://youtu.be/XCOB5-E4P6Y
tiredoftea October 10th, 2014 at 12:50
The first line proves it’s not about her, “The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol…”
Shades October 9th, 2014 at 22:01
Just imagine. If McCain had won, we’d have seen this on the White House lawn during the Easter Egg roll.
tiredoftea October 9th, 2014 at 22:34
Except that it would be the Sarah, Willow and Bristol roll!
William October 10th, 2014 at 01:26
Sarah, Willow and Bristol roll!…
Or?..Or?..
Wait for it.
http://youtu.be/XCOB5-E4P6Y
tiredoftea October 10th, 2014 at 12:50
The first line proves it’s not about her, “The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol…”
searambler October 9th, 2014 at 22:04
“people were saying things like ‘Fuck the Palins.’”
Well, it’s not like this is the first time…
William October 10th, 2014 at 01:24
I wonder if Putin could see the Palin Melee from his house?
William October 10th, 2014 at 01:24
I wonder if Putin could see the Palin Melee from his house?
tracey marie October 10th, 2014 at 14:39
So the drunken palins crashed a party then proceeded to start fights with everyone and then whine. This is a family in need of an intervention, to allow and encourage your kids to be uneducated drunks is child abuse