Paging Edward Snowden: Now the Government Wants To Collect Your Poop
On one hand, there are obvious benefits to such a plan, beyond the stated goal of using the data to make informed public health policy decisions. If successful, this could open up entire new revenue streams, as companies line up to pay for detailed analytics on other types of consumer consumption. Why, Mr. Peanut alone could help cash-strapped states close huge budget shortfalls.
In Eugene, Oregon, KMTR reporter Gary Chittim (yes, that’s his name) dishes out the straight poop and/or dope on the scheme, insisting that the proposed testing would be anonymous, but inadvertently identifying the perils of the plan with a bit of chillingly prescient wordplay…READ MORE
Copyright 2014 Liberaland
By: Tommy Christopher
Tommy Christopher is The Daily Banter's White House Correspondent and Political Analyst. He's been a political reporter and liberal commentator since 2007, and has covered the White House since the beginning of the Obama administration, first for PoliticsDaily, and then for Mediaite. Christopher is a frequent guest on a variety of television, radio, and online programs, and was the villain in the documentaries The Audacity of Democracy and Hating Breitbart. He's also That Guy Who Live-Tweeted His Own Heart Attack, and the only person to have ever received public apologies from both Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.
62 responses to Paging Edward Snowden: Now the Government Wants To Collect Your Poop
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Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 18:30
I’m so full of sh*t, I’d keep them busy.
Suzanne McFly September 29th, 2014 at 19:03
Think of the ways we could screw with them lol
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 19:21
Whooo hoooo!
burqa September 29th, 2014 at 20:49
I’m guessing the Spokane state house may be targeted for upper-deckers from pot fiends.
Like Anomaly, I could help with volume, but not odor because my poops smell like Poppin’ Fresh Biscuits coming out of the oven.
.
For the life of me I can’t understand why no one else agrees.
Suzanne McFly September 30th, 2014 at 08:17
Mine resembles lavender :)
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 18:30
I’m so full of sh*t, I’d keep them busy.
Suzanne McFly September 29th, 2014 at 19:03
Think of the ways we could screw with them lol
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 19:21
Whooo hoooo!
burqa September 29th, 2014 at 20:49
I’m guessing the Spokane state house may be targeted for upper-deckers from pot fiends.
Like Anomaly, I could help with volume, but not odor because my poops smell like Poppin’ Fresh Biscuits coming out of the oven.
.
For the life of me I can’t understand why no one else agrees.
Suzanne McFly September 30th, 2014 at 08:17
Mine resembles lavender :)
fancypants September 29th, 2014 at 18:39
given the current situation with Russia and Ukraine Ed has found out that he royally screwed up when he took a plane to the hammer and sickle.
it was educational how ed told us how the patriot act works
fancypants September 29th, 2014 at 18:39
given the current situation with Russia and Ukraine Ed has found out that he royally screwed up when he took a plane to the hammer and sickle.
it was educational when ed told us how the patriot act works
forpeace September 29th, 2014 at 18:46
I think only Edward Snowden and some people who did not pay attention didn’t know what was going on with Patriot Act. Nothing about what he said was new to me.
I hope he enjoys his life living in the land of freedom Russia next to Putin.
Collecting poop is the same as collecting urine, it only smells really bad, I feel bad for the collectors!
burqa September 29th, 2014 at 20:25
Very good points, in the post I’m responding to and the reply to KABoink, above.
Very little of what Snowden revealed had to do with domestic surveillance.
He is no more a hero than Benedict Arnold, Theodore Hall or Aldrich Ames were.
What Snowden revealed about domestic surveillance may have been new in some of the details, but the overall thrust of the story was news covered by an inch of dust to those of us who have been following intelligence matters over the years. Reporters like Walter Pincus have been all over it, as well as authors like James Bamford. The difference was none of those sources had an ego problem to sate and have not revealed the sort of classified information Snowden has.
One of the areas I have researched is Soviet espionage in the U.S. during the 30s and 40s. Many of the reports by their intelligence officers were decrypted and eventually released as part of the Venona Project. In those reports as well as questions and tasking assignments from Moscow, we can get a good idea of the sort of information intelligence services seek. It goes far beyond how fast a new fighter plane may fly or the blueprints for our latest submarine.
Neither Snowden or Greenwald is qualified to determine what information may safely be declassified, yet both have an ego so large they imagine they are capable.
The only way to do so is by having access to all the intelligence over a long period of time as well as a knowledge of planned or ongoing operations, including any disinformation we may have planted and intelligence we are receiving from agents abroad.
In the history of intelligence operations, many times a seemingly innocuous piece of information turned out to be a missing piece of a puzzle that leads to things far more important than one may realize.
A couple of examples that come to mind are a Soviet counterintelligence operation run against us that was blown when we found out a particular KGB officer had a happy home life and was devoted to his daughter.
A message that merely said a water purification machine had broken down on Midway Island led to a major defeat of the Japanese navy and was a significant turning point in the war.
burqa September 29th, 2014 at 20:38
I would also add to my reply (below) that it is doubtful that Snowden is enjoying life in Russia. The country that invented the Potemkin Village has proved to be endlessly miserable for just about every major Western defector I have read about. Previously, I believe I posted the fates of a dozen or so of them. Typically, they died after about 10 or 12 regret-filled years. Most drank themselves to death.
Snowden sold us all out by taking a goldmine of intelligence to our adversaries. I think we can be reasonably sure that long ago, in a Moscow airport lounge, Snowden was offered a choice – give up all his passwords, the locations of everything he stole he may not have had with him, and everything else the Russians wanted, or be put on a plane for New York City.
Snowden not only took blueprints for U.S. intelligence agencies, he took tasking orders that set collection priorities and tell an adversary where we will be trying to penetrate and what we are not trying to discover. This makes it easier for them to frustrate our intelligence gathering on enemies as well as inform them of where we have penetrated.
Under the circumstances, I can only view calling Snowden a “hero” as a display of profound ignorance and in the political realm, a case of putting personal politics above the nation.
forpeace September 29th, 2014 at 18:46
I think only Edward Snowden and some people who did not pay attention didn’t know what was going on with Patriot Act. Nothing about what he said was new to me.
I hope he enjoys his life living in the land of freedom Russia next to Putin.
Collecting poop is the same as collecting urine, it only smells really bad.
burqa September 29th, 2014 at 20:25
Very good points, in the post I’m responding to and the reply to KABoink, above.
Very little of what Snowden revealed had to do with domestic surveillance.
He is no more a hero than Benedict Arnold, Theodore Hall or Aldrich Ames were.
What Snowden revealed about domestic surveillance may have been new in some of the details, but the overall thrust of the story was news covered by an inch of dust to those of us who have been following intelligence matters over the years. Reporters like Walter Pincus have been all over it, as well as authors like James Bamford. The difference was none of those sources had an ego problem to sate and have not revealed the sort of classified information Snowden has.
One of the areas I have researched is Soviet espionage in the U.S. during the 30s and 40s. Many of the reports by their intelligence officers were decrypted and eventually released as part of the Venona Project. In those reports as well as questions and tasking assignments from Moscow, we can get a good idea of the sort of information intelligence services seek. It goes far beyond how fast a new fighter plane may fly or the blueprints for our latest submarine.
Neither Snowden or Greenwald is qualified to determine what information may safely be declassified, yet both have an ego so large they imagine they are capable.
The only way to do so is by having access to all the intelligence over a long period of time as well as a knowledge of planned or ongoing operations, including any disinformation we may have planted and intelligence we are receiving from agents abroad.
In the history of intelligence operations, many times a seemingly innocuous piece of information turned out to be a missing piece of a puzzle that leads to things far more important than one may realize.
A couple of examples that come to mind are a Soviet counterintelligence operation run against us that was blown when we found out a particular KGB officer had a happy home life and was devoted to his daughter.
During World War II a message that merely said a water purification machine had broken down on Midway Island led to a major defeat of the Japanese navy and was a significant turning point in the war.
burqa September 29th, 2014 at 20:38
I would also add to my reply (below) that it is doubtful that Snowden is enjoying life in Russia. The country that invented the Potemkin Village has proved to be endlessly miserable for just about every major Western defector I have read about. Previously, I believe I posted the fates of a dozen or so of them. Typically, they died after about 10 or 12 regret-filled years. Most drank themselves to death.
Snowden sold us all out by taking a goldmine of intelligence to our adversaries. I think we can be reasonably sure that long ago, in a Moscow airport lounge, Snowden was offered a choice – give up all his passwords, the locations of everything he stole he may not have had with him, and everything else the Russians wanted, or be put on a plane for New York City.
Snowden not only took blueprints for U.S. intelligence agencies, he took tasking orders that set collection priorities and tell an adversary where we will be trying to penetrate and what we are not trying to discover. This makes it easier for them to frustrate our intelligence gathering on enemies as well as inform them of where we have penetrated.
Under the circumstances, I can only view calling Snowden a “hero” as a display of profound ignorance and in the political realm, a case of putting personal politics above the nation.
KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker September 29th, 2014 at 18:52
I’m not sure I’d call Snowden a hero anymore than one could genuinely call Glenn Greenwald a journalist with an ounce of integrity.
Sorry, but these two attention whores lack any credibility IMHO.
Snowden is nothing more than a common thief and Greendrone is simply a cheap opportunist.
forpeace September 29th, 2014 at 19:02
I never called him a hero. I called him a traitor because he lied to get a job, he stole the sensitive data and information, and then he ran to Hong Kong, and then to Russia. There were so many posters online who were really angry with me, but that is my opinion.
There are so many ordinary people in life that are well deserved to be called hero, he is not one of them.
KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker September 29th, 2014 at 18:52
I’m not sure I’d call Snowden a hero anymore than one could genuinely call Glenn Greenwald a journalist with an ounce of integrity.
Sorry, but these two attention whores lack any credibility IMHO.
Snowden is nothing more than a common thief and Greendrone is simply a cheap opportunist.
forpeace September 29th, 2014 at 19:02
I never called him a hero. I called him a traitor because he lied to get a job, he stole the sensitive data and information, and then he ran to Hong Kong, and then to Russia. There were so many posters online who were really angry with me, but that is my opinion.
There are so many ordinary people in life that are well deserved to be called hero, he is not one of them.
Tammy Minton Haley September 29th, 2014 at 20:30
i am thrilled that my fellow progressives responded the same way i did to this story…
edward snowden is no hero…
Tammy Minton Haley September 29th, 2014 at 20:30
i am thrilled that my fellow progressives responded the same way i did to this story…
edward snowden is no hero…
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 21:14
WOW, I am usually harrassed when I say he is no hero, bravo Liberaland
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 21:42
Same here, but I don’t care. i choose my heroes wisely. He never entered the equation.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 21:44
I am sure you are aware how I get attacked by a certain pack here for not being progressive enough. I want a hero to be above reproach and doing something because it is correct, not headline grabbing
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 21:53
I didn’t realize you were attacked here. OTOH, I live in perpetual state of oblivion.
Snowden could have gone about this in a different way, but instead, he went to a bloviating ego-centric narcissist: Greenwald. Then he went to Putin’s Russia.
He’s no hero.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 22:00
traitor, nothing more
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:31
fantasy land is where you are – if you have an opinion and feels it is just, express it as loudly and as often as you want and don’t be afraid of irrelevant attack on this prestigious site.
tracey marie September 30th, 2014 at 10:50
seems you have issues, keep them away from me
KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker September 29th, 2014 at 22:01
I understand 100%
After commenting on Crooks & Liars for years, I was banned from their site.
I was banned from their site for the simple reason of not showing enough Snowden love and Greenwald worship.
Today I only visit progressive sites whilst avoiding those run by irrational asshats.
All extremists should be confronted, pushed to the curb and ignored if we are to move forward as a society.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 22:04
at C&L there is a pack bammac, kreskin, raven,rich h…they believe they have squatters rights
KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker September 29th, 2014 at 22:13
I don’t know about those posters, but I was dissed by pedantic pedestrian pricks for nothing more than expressing my opinion.
I’ll never go back to the C&L bunghole, just like I’ll never go back to HufPo where you have to type d!psh!t just to say rectal orifice.
Life’s too short to deal with that.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 22:34
You nailed what a few are, most are not so bad.I left Politico because of the nasty teabaggs and racist, I found I was posting foul garbage at them….I had to leave
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:29
sure, no problem when an elected by the people govt spies on them and keeps secrets and peeks in their keyhole and now asshole – freedom, a wonderful thing if you pretend to have it – it will only get worse.
raincheck September 30th, 2014 at 07:22
I know how you feel… I get harassed when I say I’m glad “some” of the information, was brought into the light… Like collecting and “storing” information about our citizens.. I don’t believe in “Secret Courts” or “Secret Laws” We wouldn’t have known this without Snowden I think it’s the “storing” part that bothers me. What if someone who is elected to high office used that information for nefarious reasons.. Like the War criminals Bush/CHENEY might have done? Too much power to the CIA…. They spied on the “Senate Intelligence Committee” Chair.. Dianne Feinstein and her staff… who bears the responsibility for ensuring that Congress conducts vigilant oversight of the President, CIA etc. the CIA denied doing it, and so far has refused giving her information related to torture… WHO’S WATCHING OUR SPIES? I just can’t believe our enemies changed their behavior because of what was released.. they already knew they were being spied on, so they used couriers, and have been for a long time. I’m NOT pro Snowden…. I’m pro Government transparency…
tracey marie September 30th, 2014 at 10:49
I agree completely
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 21:14
WOW, I am usually harrassed when I say he is no hero, bravo Liberaland
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 21:42
Same here, but I don’t care. i choose my heroes wisely. He never entered the equation.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 21:44
I am sure you are aware how I get attacked by a certain pack here for not being progressive enough. I want a hero to be above reproach and doing something because it is correct, not headline grabbing
Anomaly 100 September 29th, 2014 at 21:53
I didn’t realize you were attacked here. OTOH, I live in perpetual state of oblivion.
Snowden could have gone about this in a different way, but instead, he went to a bloviating ego-centric narcissist: Greenwald. Then he went to Putin’s Russia.
He’s no hero.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 22:00
traitor, nothing more
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:31
fantasy land is where you are – if you have an opinion and feels it is just, express it as loudly and as often as you want and don’t be afraid of irrelevant attack on this prestigious site.
tracey marie September 30th, 2014 at 10:50
seems you have issues, keep them away from me
KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker September 29th, 2014 at 22:01
I understand 100%
After commenting on Crooks & Liars for years, I was banned from their site.
I was banned from their site for the simple reason of not showing enough Snowden love and Greenwald worship.
Today I only visit progressive sites whilst avoiding those run by irrational asshats.
All extremists should be confronted, pushed to the curb and ignored if we are to move forward as a society.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 22:04
at C&L there is a pack bammac, kreskin, raven,rich h…they believe they have squatters rights
KABoink_after_wingnut_hacker September 29th, 2014 at 22:13
I don’t know about those posters, but I was dissed by pedantic pedestrian pricks for nothing more than expressing my opinion.
I’ll never go back to the C&L bunghole, just like I’ll never go back to HufPo where you have to type d!psh!t just to say rectal orifice.
Life’s too short to deal with that.
tracey marie September 29th, 2014 at 22:34
You nailed what a few are, most are not so bad.I left Politico because of the nasty teabaggs and racist, I found I was posting foul garbage at them….I had to leave
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:29
sure, no problem when an elected by the people govt spies on them and keeps secrets and peeks in their keyhole and now asshole – freedom, a wonderful thing if you pretend to have it – it will only get worse.
raincheck September 30th, 2014 at 07:22
I know how you feel… I get harassed when I say I’m glad “some” of the information, was brought into the light… Like collecting and “storing” information about our citizens.. I don’t believe in “Secret Courts” or “Secret Laws” We wouldn’t have known this without Snowden I think it’s the “storing” part that bothers me. What if someone who is elected to high office used that information for nefarious reasons.. Like the War criminals Bush/CHENEY might have done? Too much power to the CIA…. They spied on the “Senate Intelligence Committee” Chair.. Dianne Feinstein and her staff… who bears the responsibility for ensuring that Congress conducts vigilant oversight of the President, CIA etc. the CIA denied doing it, and so far has refused giving her information related to torture… WHO’S WATCHING OUR SPIES? I just can’t believe our enemies changed their behavior because of what was released.. they already knew they were being spied on, so they used couriers, and have been for a long time. I’m NOT pro Snowden…. I’m pro Government transparency…
tracey marie September 30th, 2014 at 10:49
I agree completely
KB723 September 29th, 2014 at 21:18
Perhaps the new ‘Jobs’ and ‘Change’ we were Promised??? Hmmmm…..
KB723 September 29th, 2014 at 21:18
Perhaps the new ‘Jobs’ and ‘Change’ we were Promised??? Hmmmm…..
juicyfruityyy September 30th, 2014 at 01:19
Snowden has always been a traitor. He was hoping to get away with being a whistle-blower. So he would not suffer the consequences of betraying this country.
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:27
exactly what did he expose that makes you think he is a traitor??
juicyfruityyy September 30th, 2014 at 01:19
Snowden has always been a traitor. He was hoping to get away with being a whistle-blower. So he would not suffer the consequences of betraying this country.
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:27
exactly what did he expose that makes you think he is a traitor??
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:33
all the below anti hero crap is the echo of the noise sheep make – wake up and smell the freedomless future for your children
raincheck September 30th, 2014 at 06:02
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety” Ben Franklin
fahvel September 30th, 2014 at 03:33
all the below anti hero crap is the echo of the noise sheep make – wake up and smell the freedomless future for your children
raincheck September 30th, 2014 at 06:02
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety” Ben Franklin