SCHMALFELDT’S SATYRICON: Right’s Preference For Putin Nothing New

On the same day when a United States Senator, and by that I mean Ted Cruz of Texas, effectively called the President of the United States a “pussy,” folks waiting for dinnertime so they can go out and grill steaks in honor of the hard working men and women whose collective bargaining rights they are trying to roll back see nothing new in the preference for strong brutal leadership over careful, considered planning.

All the way back through history, American conservatives have chosen strength over their own country. No doubt as George Washington considered the costs of crossing the Delaware, a pack of Tories somewhere suggested that General Cornwallis wouldn’t be dilly dallying like that. Cornwallis was a man of action, and Washington’s cool-headed, measured approach to leadership doomed American independence.

Then in the Civil War, conservatives (then called Democrats) were quite happy with the state of affairs, i.e., the ownership of Negroes as property, and wondered why that tall, ugly liberal (then called Republicans) would risk the national unity to bring about a day when all races would be free from the whip. “That Jeff Davis, now there’s a leader,” conservatives said as they abandoned their country and took up sides with the rebel nation.

Who could forget the dark days of World War II when conservatives took every opportunity to remind us that this Hitler fellow over in Germany wasn’t such a bad egg. After all, he and Mussolini made the trains run on time, and they were murdering the correct people. The right people were making money hand over fist, and what’s wrong with that? Plenty, according to that Communist Roosevelt and his Social Security, National Recovery Act, and Civil Conservation Corps that put people back to work, made them expect that the average person deserved equal treatment and should demand their rights. Hitler and Mussolini would have never stood for that, and there you have the reason we lost WWII.

In the days after WWII, American conservatives longed for the powerful leadership of Josef Stalin and Mao Zedung who got things done in the Soviet Union and China, unlike that wishy-washy Truman.

Even more recently, when John F. Kennedy and Nikita Kruschev took the world to the brink of the nuclear precipice, conservatives fanned themselves and blushed in their admiration for Nikky, who didn’t sit around and wait to be invited. He just TOOK what he wanted. Like a man. Thank goodness he was murdered before he could do irreparable damage. LBJ may have been a Democrat, but he wasn’t a pussy. Can you imagine a pissant Senator like Ted Cruz calling LBJ that? They’d still be looking for pieces of him in buildings constructed in the late 60s.

And now, we have the weakling tyrant who imposes his will but can’t even come up with a plan to defeat ISIS by tomorrow afternoon at 1:14 Eastern Time. A real leader, like Vladimir Putin, would have LIED to the press when asked about specifics. “Yes, we have plan. Beeg, beeg plan. You wait to see it, yes?”

Ah, Putin. the darling of the Conservatives, rearing his head all over Sarah Palin’s world and pointing out the difference between a real tyrant like Obama, who can’t get anyone to do anything, and a firm, take-no-nonsense leader like Putin whose motto is “send tanks first, ask questions later.”

We miss the reckless leadership of George W. Bush, who dove headlong into the bayou not realizing it was full of snakes and alligators and besides, it was only foot deep. So what that he destabilized the Mid East. At least we DID something, which is more than Obama can say, forgetting the job numbers, the record levels of the Dow Jones, and every other indication that our financial house is getting in order.

Do you think Putin would wait for the stinkin’ DUMA to act before invading Ukraine? Hell no, he would not.

Unlike Putin, who flexes his muscles and acts with impunity with the rubber stamp of the Duma’s approval, our weakling, tyrannical, milquetoast, barbarian of a “President” passes out EXECUTIVE ORDERS like they were food stamps, without the rubber stamp approval of Congress.

Would Putin have worn a tan suit at a press conference? No REAL man would. Putin would rip off his shirt, show his barrel chest and thumb-sized nipples, sitting astride a horse, and FORCE his will on the people. Not like Obama, who — tyrant that he is — discusses options with advisers and hears every voice in the room before putting our sons and daughters into harm’s way.

Conservative pundits across the nation speak for all Americans who want REAL leadership in the White House. And that Putin fella… he’s got what it takes to get the job DONE!

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