SATIRE: Vote For Monica Wehby, Or She Will Allegedy STALK Your A**!!!

“Hell Hath No Fury…” Dr. Monica Wehby, GOP Candidate for Senator in Oregon. Photo by “Oregonoracle.com”

All of Oregon is holding its breath in fear today as the class bully, Dr. Monica Wehby won the Republican Senate nomination in Oregon and will face Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR) in the general election.

Some say the victory is the result of early voting done before word leaked out about Wehby being an alleged stalker. The alleged incident was filed in April 2013, and somehow never made its way into her campaign literature. Politico released the news Friday.

Wehby was questioned by a police officer on April 3, 2013, after being seen leaving the area near the home of Andrew Miller. Miller, the wealthy owner of a timber company, had been romantically involved with Wehby but their relationship was ending at that time, they both say now.

Politico reports that Miller has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in recent years backing GOP candidates in Oregon, including Chris Dudley in the 2010 gubernatorial campaign. Possibly, Dr. Wehby had to do a little “sumthin’ sumthin'” extra to earn her contribution from Miller.  According to Politico:

Miller and Wehby’s relationship has become an issue ahead of Oregon’s GOP Senate primary on Tuesday. Miller has helped fund radio and billboard ads slamming one of Wehby’s rivals for the Senate nomination, state Rep. Jason Conger. The Oregon Democratic Party has filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission against Wehby in which it noted that Miller has given nearly $31,000 to a super PAC attacking Conger. Miller said he does not think his relationship with Wehby is relevant “outside a group of people who pay a lot of attention to politics.”

For her part, Dr. Wehby batted her eyes and shrugged her shoulders as she told Politico:

“The first time I ever learned of this report was this evening and there really isn’t much to it of consequence,” Wehby said in her statement. “A year ago I went through the process of concluding a relationship. That relationship ended amicably, and while I’m not pleased that it has been deemed newsworthy, I guess that is the cost of challenging the political status quo.”

And what BETTER way to “challenge the political status quo” than to STALK it. STALK it like a HOUND! RUN IT TO THE GROUND!!!

According to the police report, filed in April 2013, that Dr. Wehby says she knew nothing about…

One can only wonder how long until this story works its way into Dr. Wehby’s campaign ads. Like the GOP Senate candidate in Iowa who is tacitly threatening to castrate each and every member of the Senate if she gets there, Wehby can turn this to her advantage by claiming that her “drive and persistence” leads to “getting things done.”

Like having police reports filed against you!

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