Top Republicans Quickly Flip-Flop On Unions

by Gabe Berman
Gabe is the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

John Boehner might be feeling the heat after today’s jobs announcement. 216,000 jobs were added in March, which may have sparked the Speaker of the House to comment, “You can’t argue with the facts. The economy is improving, but ever so slightly. I’m not ready to give credit to the Obama administration but I believe, wholeheartedly, it’s time for my colleagues to turn its attention away from organized labor.”

This following Martin Luther King Jr. quote appeared moments later on his website:

“History is a great teacher. Now everyone knows that the labor movement did not diminish the strength of the nation but enlarged it. By raising the living standards of millions, labor miraculously created a market for industry and lifted the whole nation to undreamed of levels of production. Those who attack labor forget these simple truths, but history remembers them.”

Senator Mitch McConnell was asked if he agreed with Boehner and he quickly replied, “Numbers don’t lie.”

Sarah Palin tweeted, “We’re not the bad guys here. We love our country and we love our teachers and policemen. I’ve always supported them.”

Speaking on the subject at a fundraiser, Majority Leader Eric Cantor shocked those in attendance by quoting President Jimmy Carter, “Every advance in this half-century: Social Security, civil rights, Medicare, aid to education, one after another – came with the support of leadership of American Labor.”

April Fools. Sadly.

By: Gabe Berman

Gabe Berman is a native New Yorker who settled in South Florida after graduating from the University of Miami. An epiphany, a passion, and a trail of breadcrumbs led him out of Corporate America and into the career he was meant for. After eight years of writing columns for the Miami Herald, his book - Live Like A Fruit Fly - was published by HCI Books and subsequently endorsed by Deepak Chopra. His second book, The Complete B.S. Free and Totally Tested Writing Guide, helps artists find their voice and his latest work, Where Is God When Our Loved Ones Get Sick?, uncovers the answer to this haunting question.